Please, God, in the Event of Dictatorship

Allow me to run from America and, if it be Your will,
Have Germans roll out their welcome mats
As America opened her arms to my parents
When they escaped Berlin in the ’30s.
Or, if not, allow me to tend my garden,
And don’t forget to protect my stocks.
Or, if I end up in some relocation camp out in Utah,
At least let it be humane, or, if not,
May I thrive in suffering and hardship.
Didn’t Sartre say “We have never been so free
As under the German Occupation?”
Today on Morning Joe I heard terror in men’s voices
Even in those normally mechanical and robotic.
But Germany might be a better option anyway
For decrepit age, since they care for elders cheaper
And I’ve now got my German papers.
But maybe it’s too lonely there.
I know the language but don’t know a soul.
How does it work, to not know a soul?
I’ll just be in some affordable nursing home,
And everyone will be talking German
While I’m looking out at snow instead of palm trees.
Of course, if one listens to folks like Knut,
There never was a Holocaust.
What I don’t understand about antisemites is,
Shouldn’t they be cheering for the Shoah
Instead of denying it?
What would it take to convince him?
He also assures me the earth is flat
And schools everyone that BLM is a Jewish plot.
I wish, God, You could open his eyes at Auschwitz
But he’d claim that’s just an ingenious Hollywood set,
And Hollywood is Jewish-owned.
Maybe I should tell him about my grandmother
Who was deported from Germany,
Branded, starved, gassed and burned
Even though she’d converted to Christianity
The way I converted all these years later.
But he’ll assure me that’s all myth.
Knut once hoped to be a child support investigator.
And gave my name as reference.
When they phoned me, I told a bit of the truth
About his “issues” with black people and Jews
Though he has “mad respect” for one or two individuals.
They thanked me and never disturbed him again.
But You already know all this, dear Lord,
Because You know and direct everything.
Help heal Knut, lift him and others like him
Out of the cesspools of Reddit and 4chan
And into the yeshiva of Your grace. Amen.

This piece was featured in Volume 3, Issue 2. Click here to explore other pieces from this issue.

Pennypoker1919 to His Followers

Welcome to my playground sanctuary, friends/fans. This room is an extremely passionate and sensual place filled with mystery, desire, masculinity! I am permissive and open, live to be in front the webcam. Please play along and look at the bright side.

My tip menu, dears:

Send me 1 token lol if you enjoy * 2 if you love * 10 for flash my stuff *
30 foreskin massage * 60 explain you my 53 seduction tattoo in ethereal detail *
70 intellectual conversation * 100 special armpit entertainment *
200 open window for view of downtown Kharkiv * 250 confirm theory that I look like
Timothée Chalamet * 500 virtually you sniff my bushy base * 1000 body tour *
1,500 we listen to the air-raid sirens * 3,000 I ship my underwear to your door anywhere *
4,000 seven somersaults in city rubble * 5,000 after the bombs, watch dawn over Kharkiv *
6,000 I introduce you to my hamster * 8,000 intellectual conversation plus *

10,000 become the god of my castle * 20,000 we meet in Kharkiv, you and I, for a night
of body contact only * 40,000 I take you around on my motorbike and you hold me where you
have need to * 50,000 real life body tour + armpit entertainment + bike tour + intellectual
conversation * 100,000 roommate life with you in your country after the war, you house and clothe and feed me and teach me the language and bathe me + unlimited intellectual
conversation + armpit entertainment + long tongue games + every orifice explored + 20 new tattoos *

500,000 I read to you what genre book or mystery you desire, I wash your feet and go for your shopping, we marry, you explore every orifice + intellectual conversation + Maserati convertible + I clean, do house jobs and fixing + unlimited foreskin massage, hundreds of handstands and somersaults

**************1,000,000!************** I belong to you, my every orifice for your curiosity and whim, even after my passing of twink years and you pass into aged years, I feed you, clothe you, bathe you, nurse you and wheel you, and when you’re disappeared I arrange all and inherit all and bring flowers, whichever you command, and keep the earwigs out of vase by your headstone as long as I am able and forever, my love.

This piece was featured in Volume 3, Issue 2. Click here to explore other pieces from this issue.